Luke Skywalker
Just looked at Twin Suns and daydreamed about having an epic destiny. Eyes hurt, need to stop looking directly into Twin Suns. LOL.
Princess Leia
@OldBen I need your help blowing up the Death Star.
@OldBen Shit, that was supposed to be a direct message. Shit.
Darth Vader
About to retrieve stolen Death Star plans and get my evil on.
R2D2
Poo-tee-twoot!
Tosche Station General Store
@LukeSkywalker, your power converters are in, are you going to pick them up?
C-3PO
I am C-3PO. This is my first tweet. Oh my. I’m not sure I get how this works. Ha Ha. I understand there is a limit on the number of chara
Obi-Wan Kenobi
@LukeSkywalker I think I just called you. I didn’t mean to. I had my phone in my robes and I accidentally force dialed you.
@OldBen LOL. Wait. What is the force?
@LukeSkywalker It’s a mystical energy field that binds and penetrates everybody. That didn’t come out right. Come to my hut.
the Imperial Stormtroopers
Tatooine Peeps! We’re looking for these droids. They’re kind of like Laurel & Hardy but gay. Please RT.
Han Solo
Han Solo just checked into Mos Eisley Cantina on @foursquare!
Chewbacca
Rooowwwhhhhar :D
Just found out my dad was murdered, got his lightsaber-thingie, then found my aunt & uncle’s burned corpses. #FML
I just shot Greedo. He didn’t even have a chance to get off a shot. If anyone tells you he shot first, they’re f’ing liars.
Just felt a great disturbance in the twittersphere. As if a million people twooted out in pain and suddenly had their accounts deactivated.
Felt awesome to blow up Alderaan. A little bummed about being so mean to Princess Leia. She looks and acts just like my dead wife. (Con’t)
And she’s about the right age to be my daughter. Maybe I should look into that. Screw it. I’m going to go choke some fools with my mind.
Alderaan is not here. Google Maps can suck my Corellian ass.
@LukeSkywalker, SERIOUSLY, your power converters are in, are you going to pick them up?
@ToscheHardware CAN’T. BUSY. Being sucked into giant armadillo space station.
@ToscheHardware Sorry. Meant “armored” space station. Stupid autocorrect.
Hey @Emperor_Palpatine. I’m in ur space station, shooting ur dudes.
About to fight Obi Wan. Last time we were spinning thru the air & shit, now we look like 80 year olds doing a polka with glow sticks. Sad.
Just watched Obi Wan die. 2nd father figure killed in the last six hours. Getting pity hugs from Princess Leia. You take what you can get.
General Dodonna, Rebel Alliance
Time it took The Empire to design and build The Death Star: 19 years. Time it took the Rebel Alliance to find fatal flaw: 2 minutes. #fail
Flying around trying to blow up a space station b4 it kills everyone. Friends dying all around me. Probably shouldn’t be tweeting rite now.
@LukesMind USE THE FORCE.
FREAKING OUT #cryptictweet
In my space ship, shooting down all these X-Wings. Could have stayed at home & choked the pilots with my mind! WTF?
Proton Torpedoes in the Exhaust Port Shaft with the Force FOR THE WIN!
About to give the guys medals for blowing up the Death Star. Not giving one to Chewbacca. Kind of feel like a bitch about that. Oh well.
Rohhhhwwaaar D:
Lost 2 father figures, killed millions of imperials on the death star, met some new friends, used the force. PRETTY EPIC DAY FOR A FARM BOY.
@LukeSkywalker, we sold your power converters to someone else. Thanks for being a really shitty customer, Luke.